Saying Goodbye

I learned this evening that an elderly friend of Zeke New Buffalo's had passed away. Zeke said that the wake and memorial were happy affairs, with a lot of laughter and jokes and memories. It is exactly how Zeke's friend would have wanted to be remembered.

While Zeke's friend had been confined to the hospital for some time, the octogenarian still had all of her mental acuity and wits, and asked for movie reviews (most recently, V for Vendetta). The flesh had failed, but the mind was sharp. This last visit was a tremendous gift, as in previous visits, Zeke's friend was sleeping or not able to communicate. To have this one last unexpected conversation and connection was a moment of graciousness that will stay with Zeke forever.

While I was listening to this story, I was reminded of my Aunt Kate, and her final days in a nursing home. Aunt Kate was a strong and independent woman who retained her lively Scottish accent and who lived alone for over twenty years following her adored husband Karl's untimely death. Then one day, she had a stroke and was confined to a nursing home, unable to move, make decisions, and stripped of all independence and privacy.

I visited with her several times, and only once was she able to speak to me. While I was sitting beside her in the room she shared with another patient, who continuously played the television at ear-shattering volume, no doubt to drown out the never-ending yelling and noise coming from the nearby rooms, Aunt Kate grasped my hand and pulled me close to her face, and she whispered this chilling sentence, the last thing she ever said to me:

Never let this happen to you.