Meditations on Death

In honor of my friend, Eric Pollard, whose birthday is today, I dug out an old cassette tape he sent to me at college in 1982. The title of the tape was "Meditations on Death." He spends the 45 minutes of Side One acting out a conceit of Tim Curry as Frank N. Furter from The Rocky Horror Picture Show meeting God in Heaven. He, in a thinly veiled characterization, discusses the meaning of death and his views of the after-life. In this very strange context, he weaves many references to his then-recent involuntary deprogramming, and his general angst at being 18, being in high school and feeling very isolated and alienated.

Side Two is 45 minutes of him rambling from the rehearsal room at his high school, playing the piano intermittantly, and then reading a very long letter from our mutal friend, Alec, who was then a freshman at Yale. The letter captures all of our friend's misplaced arrogance, and innocence - and richocets from tales of decorating his "flat" (last time I checked Yale was not Oxford... I believe those are still apartments here on this side of the pond), with his "flat-mates" and his first encounters with pot. It ends with a pro and con discussion of the Montessori school system.

This cassette is a wonderful little time capsule of my friend Eric, who passed away on my birthday in 2002. It was bittersweet to be taken back in time, but wonderful to be reminded of what a character he was.

New Music Tuesday – Christmas II

Los Straitjackets – Tis the Season for Los Straitjackets

I guess this goes to show you where my head is at this holiday season. I love this CD of all guitar-heavy instrumentals. This is a great CD, very fun and very happy – but what should you expect from a group that performs in wrestling masks? The only tracks that aren't instant classics on the very first listen are Christmas in Las Vegas and Christmas Weekend, as I had no memories conjured up it compare their version to. Marshmallow World and Here Come Santa Claus are particular favorites, but Feliz Navidad and Let It Snow are great, too.

A perfect antidote to sappy, overly orchestrated holiday swill. Rock on. Oh, and in keeping with November's unintentinal theme, they are from San Diego.

Thanksgiving in Iceland

I awoke this Thanksgiving to a very well-behaved snowfall – the kind that outlines every branch and leaf, but stays off the roads. I promised myself that if it snowed I wouldn't leave the house today, except to go to Starbuck's in the morning for my required triple grande latte, but that is a necessity anyway. I drove down the hill past Stan Hywet, and I was entranced by the perfect pyramids of snow atop the fence posts. The drive to Starbuck's can take you through the park, over the meadow and through the river (as it crosses the road, it does not, like most rivers, go under the road) and it was very lovely and peaceful.

Since it snowed, my plan to spend the day at the movie theater was dashed, and so I settled in with some DVD's. Maybe because of the inclement weather I chose an Icelandic film to begin my day.

Nói Albinói, the debut film of writer/director Dagur Kári is a terrific film about growing up on a remote fjord in Iceland. (It was shot in the remote village of Bolungarvik on the West Fjord of Iceland, population 957.)

The very first scene of Nói’s Sisyphean labor was initially impressive, but even more so by the brilliant bookending echoed at the end of the film in a most unexpected way.

Kári uses a lot of blues and greens in the movie, conveying an overwhelming sense of depression and confinement, while at the same time reveling in the natural beauty of the location. The characters are well-developed, but certainly odd. The characters each seem to inhabit a singular location – that is, Nói's grandmother is never seen outside of the house, Iris (the gas station girl) is the only person Nói ( Tómas Lemarquis ) ever sees in the gas station. What would it be like to grow up in a place where you know everyone, where routine is so deeply embedded, and change and strangers are unknown? Nói attempts to bring change to his world, and is foiled at every turn – the most dramatic being the reception to his attempt at robbing the bank. The elders can't see Nói as a danger – he is just a strange boy they have known all of his life, and they do not fear him for a moment. His grand attempt at escape is a haunting image – a blur of color and motion and life that breaks the bleakness of the film momentarily.

I really liked immersing myself into this strange culture that Kári i has depicted. And the ending, well...you won't be prepared for it. I suppose I could relate to what I took to be the “message”, sometimes the worst thing possible can also reveal a new beginning. Once everything is lost you are finally liberated.The final shot is beautifully ambiguous, so you can decide the outcome for yourself.

Cool Obscure Facts:
Kari Lemarquis , who plays the French schoolteacher, is the father of Tomas Lemarquis , who plays Nói. Kari Lemarquis is a French schoolteacher in real life, and the director Dagur Kári was one of his students.

Super Size Me

I finally got around to seeing Morgan Spurlock's great film, Super Size Me. This film, and Fahrenheit 9 11 should be required viewing for everyone. It is chilling to watch the demise of Morgan's health in 30 short days. As his mood changes, as his energy dissipates, his waist grows, his face fills out, and then he begins to flush and break out. It truly is incredible to watch him metamorphosize in a month. To regain his pre-film level of health took him over a year and a half. One month to destroy himself... almost two years to recover.

AND thirteen bags of garbage for one month of one person eating. That is a LOT of garbage - and there would be those that would make the connection that he probably would have been better off eating the paper wrappers than the food.

I got a good laugh from his "man on the street" interviews, where he asks people what a calorie is. When he finally gets to a scientist for the correct answer, it is as if the "Hallelujah Chorus" is playing. Very funny, yes, but also it verified my general elitist feeling about the stupidity of the masses.

And if you still aren't horrified by this point, the DVD features some deleted scenes, all of which are worth watching, but please check out "The Smoking Fry" in which Morgan places one of each item on the McDonald's menu in glass jars for 10 months, to recorded their disintegration. It is fuzzy and oozy and I am sure, stinky, as one would expect...but keep your eyes on the fries.....

New Music Tuesday - Taking Chances

Last night I did something I rarely do - I took unsolicated advice from the clerk at the record store and bought a CD that I knew nothing about based solely on a stranger's recommendation.

The CD: The Magnificent Tree (2000) by Hooverphonic. Well, I love, love, love the loungey, yet string heavy track Mad About You. I dig the lead singer Geike Arnaert's voice. This CD is a bit similar to Zero 7 (one of my favorite new bands), but at least on this offering, they seem brighter and happier than the morose and somber (yet very talented) Zero 7 folk.

Check out this quote from a Magnificent Tree review:

"Classic embryonic vocalic beauty from Geike Arnaert still carries the translucence of the band's signature ethereality"

Hmm...will I ever write like that? Anyway, good tip and a good find. I hadn't known my collection was lacking in signature ethereality until now...

So then, I took a recommendation from my faux cousin Erik (same last name, no relation) and picked up The Way I Feel by Remy Shand. While I pride myself on being quite knowledgable about music, the circumstances regarding this CD are comical. Erik was playing this CD while we were working, and so I only heard vague snippets of the songs, and only glimpsed the cover. I assumed that Remy Shand was an African or possibly Indian woman and the CD struck me as being kind of an ethnic- world type thing. Well, I bought it, went home and listened to it:

It is a GREAT soul album, and Remy (who is a 23 year old Canadian man for God's sake and is the songwriter, singer, multi-instrumentalist and producer of the CD) sings a lot like Prince. In fact, it really feels like a retro-soulified Prince album. So, after my bout of foolishness, I really recommend this CD- which was the Juno winning Best R&B/Soul Recording Of The Year. Where have I been?

Allow me to quote a review regarding my favorite track: "the literate neo-classic soul vibe of The Mind’s Eye". Literate neo-classic soul vibe. Wow.

And thanks to Erik for hipping me up to this one.

Opera and Diners

I spent the night at my friend Annie's house. There are few things to compare with the sensation of waking up to someone playing the piano and singing opera, very well and live, enhanced by the friendly morning glow of a crackling fire and a full coffee pot.

Annie's husband has been away for a long time, as he is performing in the Ring at the State Opera of South Australia. All of this talk about opera makes me just want to point out that:

No opera plot can be sensible, for in sensible situations, people do not sing.
W.H. Auden

Before heading off to work, we went to eat at the Park City Diner.
It is a very upscale diner, yet it still captures that lowdown diner feeling. I loved the mural on the wall of Ohio history, which we were seated across from. I had the full-on standard egg breakfast and ended with my own little miniature pumpkin pie. It was quite a feast, and while I don't think the food is exceptional by any means, it was a very pleasant and good experience. I would definitely go back.

8111 Rockside Road, Valley View 216-328-0575

Finding Neverland

Annie and I went to see Finding Neverland this morning, before work. First of all, a moment to review the theatre...
We went to the Valley View Theatre, which is enormous and wonderful AND...you can get real food there, and take it in with you. I know what you are thinking...but I had a cheeseburger and fries and a drink, and it was $6. Which is less than a small popcorn in most theatres. So, I was deliriously happy, well-fed and sitting in nice, high-backed stadium seats in a big theatre even before the film began.

There isn't much to say...Finding Neverland was such a wonderful film. All of it. The story, the acting, the costuming, the filming, the music. All exquisite. And it is no secret that I love Johnny Depp - he does not disappoint. I am not one to get all emotional, but I teared up at several points in the film...and the end, well...what can you say?

This is not to say it is a sad movie though...we left feeling elated...I had that great feeling you get when you've encountered some great work of art or music. And I was bitten by the urge to go get "Peter Pan" to read. Neverland is fantastic.

Goodbye Lenin!

I watched Goodbye Lenin! today. It is a great film about one boys devotion to his mother. His mother was a fervent supporter of the Socialists, and falls into a coma in 1989. For the few months that she is in the coma, her world disappears...the wall falls and Coca-Cola comes to town. When she regains consciousness, the doctor warns the son that any shock might kill his mother, so he sets out to create a different world, the world as it was months ago.

Hilarity ensues as he tries to find old German pickles and other staples now that the grocery stores are overrun with the more desirable Western goods. He enlists a friend to create videotapes of news broadcasts to fool his mother into thinking life has continued on as normal.

And while this sort of storyline lends itself to comical situations, the filmmaker, Wolfgang Becker, has shown great restraint in portraying the reasoning behind all of these machinations.

The son does feel guilty as each small lie begets a larger lie, but his intentions were always good.

Very good film...I loaned this film to my assistant manager, and not only did he like it, he said his whole family enjoyed it, including his kids.

Pages

So there I was minding my own business, on my way to pick up what I was sure would be a dangerously romantic CD, having my daily triple grande latte and flipping through a magazine, when I see a name pop off of the masthead...someone very important to me, but someone I have not been in contact with at all for many months - yes, I am referring to my Phantom of San Diego.

What are the chances that a song that captures the nuances of a person (Dinner For One Please, James - see review), will conjure their name up in print the very same day?

Well, I'll tell you - very good indeed. Synchronicity is a strange thing. And while the universe is laughing at me, I just want to say that I did get the joke. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, there are some bonds that are inescapable for eternity.

And to the Phantom of San Diego - we shared a moment, and it was quite lovely, as it always was.

New Music Tuesday - Branford Marsalis

I heard a track from Branford's new CD, Eternal, last night driving home from work, and set out bright and early this morning to fetch the disc. On the whole, Eternal is a very romantic and seductive offering. The reason I bought the CD was Dinner For One Please, James, a ridiculously gorgeous sax ballad enhanced by some great piano work. I like that tune enough to make the purchase of the CD worthwhile, but I also like the much more upbeat opener, The Ruby and the Pearl. Branford says of this CD, " All of the songs reflect the idea that there is beauty in sadness.." While I believe that is certainly true, I don't find the CD sad at all, it is more of a wistful feeling...

How to Spend a Fall Day in Cleveland

I spent the night in Cleveland, and decided to take full advantage of my extended morning, before having to report to work.

I went to the Inn on Coventry, which prepares my favorite breakfast: two eggs, toast, hashbrowns, English muffin, OJ and coffee. Nothing fancy, mind you, and that is the point. They make it fast, good and cheap. It is the perfect breakfast. I used to go there so often that I wouldn't even have to order...I could just go and sit down and start reading and it would all show up before me like magic. That's the kind of service that gets great tips.

It was a glorious fall day, bright and sunny and still enough leaves left to be colorful. I went to the Cleveland Museum of Art and took in the exhibit: Dukes and Angels: Art from the Court of Burgundy 1364-1419. While this particular period is not a specialty of mine, it really was a fascinating exhibit. I spent a great deal of time enraptured by the many manuscripts. The detailing of the backgrounds in the illuminations were mind-boggling, and only serve to prove my point: Look what can be done when you don't have cable.

Following this, I wandered upstairs and caught the Needful Things: Recent Multiples exhibit, which is made up of very contemporary art that is not unique. I loved this exhibit so much...they had a paint-by-numbers set by Damien Hirst, one of my favorite eccentric artists, and well, really, each item in the exhibit was worth investigating. I liked the "cocaine" and "heroin" porcelain salt and pepper shakers. What was really exciting was the juxtaposition of this cutting edge art after being enveloped in the gilded pages and religious stone work of the 1400s earlier.

On the way out, they had some very exquisite and moving photographs by Luc Delahaye. His prints are enormous, 4 feet tall by 8 feet long. The most impressive, though they were all stunning, was his photo, Taliban. It is a masterpiece.

Finally, they had moved Spencer Tunick's photo taken at the Rock Hall to the New Acquisitions wall (it had previously been in the basement by the restrooms). It is a wonderful photo of 3000 naked folk laying together in the street. Check out his work, he is quite cool.

The Inn on Coventry 2785 Euclid Heights Blvd, Cleveland Heights 216-371-1811

Terry Gross

This has turned out to be one of the best weekends in recent memory.

It started by having the luxury to spend a long afternoon with my great friend, Heather. For whatever reason there may be, it is not often that you can spend a good deal of time with someone these days...and to not feel the pressure of time, but to just lie back and to talk with someone, was a glorious gift. And someone that makes you genuinely laugh is also a rare and wonderful treat.

At some point late in the day we roused ourselves from our stimulating conversation and decided to eat. Mark joined us for dinner at Cafe Tandoor, a very nice Indian restaurant. I am still in search of a worthy chicken vindaloo, and while this one was quite good, it was also quite different from my familiar Pacific Northwest vindaloos. So, in that arena, the search continues. However, let's take a moment and talk about the naan. My, oh my, but it was great...hot and fluffy and very tasty. So tasty that Heather and I had four servings. We were over-indulgent pigs. Really. But, again, great naan, people.

Then, Mark left us to our own devices, and we headed down to the Ohio Theatre at Playhouse Square to see NPR's Terry Gross. It was a great show. Terry spoke about the intricacies of interviewing, and how she came into journalism in the first place, and to radio in particular. Interwoven in her lecture were audio clips from some of her more infamous interviews, such as Bill O'Reilly and Gene Simmons. She used the audio to enhance her points, and they were also quite amusing. She was quite self-effacing, and although it was a short show, I felt that we got our money's worth.

New Music Tuesday - Swing Out Sister

Swing Out Sister has released a new album entitled, Where Our Love Grows. The overwhelming response I have to this CD is this – place the CD in the player...then imagine you are running off of a diving board on the most perfect summer afternoon...the first bar of the first track comes on...and you feel like you have plunged into a very deep and cool pool...surrounded and immersed in this swell of orchestral summer. This CD conjures so many images – the best of Bacharach, 60's movies, Austin Powers, Dionne Warwick...it is lush and dense. My favorite track is the opener, Love Won't Let You Down, but I am also fond of the instrumental offering Certain Shades Of Limelight .

Corrinne Drewery's voice, like an old and dear friend, is welcoming and warm and flawless as it always has been. Sometimes I think she could sing the phone book and I would listen…

My recommendation – take the plunge.

(p.s. - might I add that on 1997's Shapes & Patterns they cover Ms. Nyro's Stoned Soul Picnic.)

Pumpkin Beer Tasting

I decided to have my own little beer tasting this fall. I chose five seasonal beers, and here are my conclusions:

Beer #1: Ichabod by The New Holland Brewing Company of Holland, Michigan. Ale made with pumpkin.They advertise this as “fall in a glass, with the essence of everything from Halloween to gingerbread to Thanksgiving and pumpkin pie”, and I really think that sums it up nicely. I think this would be an excellent beer to accompany any of those items, or just to spend a nice fall day with. It would compliment all autumn traditions. However, while it admirably captured the essence of the season, there was nary a hint of pumpkin in this beer.

Beer #2: Pumpkinhead Ale by The Shipyard of Portland, Maine. Malt beverage with pumpkin spice added.Immediately upon opening this beer, I was smelling pumpkin – the beer was definitely spiced up, but the taste sensation was definitely pumpkin, followed by a liquid pie aftertaste. As the goal of this tasting was to rate pumpkin beers, I have a strong feeling that Pumpkinhead will be hard to beat.

Beer #3: Pumpkin Ale from Buffalo Bill's Brewery of Portland, Oregon. (actually, the labeling is misleading - it is made in Hayward, California and licensed to the Portland Brewing Company - which makes me feel better about this particular review) An amber style ale, originally brewed by George Washington, brewed with fresh roasted pumpkins, malted barley. Cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg are added.
I was predisposed to root for the hometown favorite, but sadly, I felt that this beer was lacking in substance. It seemed thin, watery and albeit “spiced”, it captured none of the fall essence nor the pumpkin taste I am searching for. So very sad for the PDX offering (see above) I'm glad Washington got out of the brewing thing...not his strong suit in my opinion.

Beer #4: Pumpkin Lager Beer from Lakefront Brewery, Milwaukie, Wisconsin. Beer brewed with pumpkin and spices. My first impression of this one was that it was very peppery and certainly spicy, but again, the pumpkin essence was lacking. This beer was quite average, with nothing to really recommend it.

Beer #5: Pumpkin Ale from Sea Dog Brewing Company of Portland, Maine. Ale with pumpkin flavor added. Well, so they say, anyway. This was the oddest tasting of the beer selections, and, again, it felt quite thin and insubstantial. I was not impressed.

The clear winner for pumpkin flavored beer was PUMPKINHEAD ALE, but for an all-around taste of fall, ICHABOD is my choice.

Four People In Search Of Connections

Sean and I have been discussing how isolated not having a family makes you feel. There is a tremendous difference between not wanting to ask a relation for assistance, and not having any relations at all. The drastic sense of aloneness is very hard to explain, as most people are connected to several people, whether they enjoy those connections or not. Sean wants to locate more connectionless people, and make a documentary, which I have temporarily titled, "No Safe Harbor."

My dear friend K8 in Seattle is also battling with a family question, as she undertakes a project to write a book about the consequences for her of having a daughter give up a child for adoption. She posits, and is correct, that there are no books written about the biological grandparents of adopted children. She feels the loss of her granddaughter as deeply, if not more, than her daughter, as her daughter at least had financial and other reasons for making the choice. K8 is struggling with what her role could be in her biological yet un-legal relationship with her granddaughter.

All of these thoughts gathered together for me when it was brought to my attention that my dearest friend of all learned some devastating news regarding her family. For 22 years, her family had symbolized for me that goodness and normalcy were actually possible in this world, as my own experience has been one of transience and temporality. For me, all connections as tenuous and fleeting. To be raised with your original mother and father, and to have four grandparents all of your life, to have that tight circle of connections...these were very foreign concepts to me. And in a day, her foundations were rocked, too, and she questioned the veracity of her life.

In a way, I guess I prefer my being raised by wolves...it prepares one cynically to expect ever constant change . But deep down inside, I know I long for an afternoon of shopping with my mom and grandma, and coming home and preparing a meal for everyone - aunts and uncles included.

Those were halcyon days, indeed.

New Music Tuesday - Chris Isaak

Okay, I have to come clean. I have an illness - I have a huge collection of holiday music. One of my long-time passions was to make holiday mix tapes (which is now the mix CD) for my friends and acquaintances. To this end I have acquired over 200 holiday CD's. So today's new CD is one for the collection: Chris Isaak Christmas.

I've only listened to it twice, and although it has its moments, it is not the stellar find of the season that I was hoping for. I don't know what that will be, but you'll read it here first...

Anyway, I found Chris' voice to be a bit weak on this CD. I think that is my main problem with it.

So far the best track is an original (and that is amazing) Christmas on TV, on which Chris talks about being alone and watching old Christmas movies ...which made me remember one Christmas long ago spent with the love of my life, and watching "It's A Wonderful Life" together, wrapped up on the couch with a fire blazing. Moments like that can make you think that just maybe it IS a wonderful life.

And had I not gotten the Blind Boys of Alabama's Go Tell It On The Mountain last year, Chris' version of Last Day of Year , which the Boys give the definitive performance of, would be in the running for holiday track of 2004. As it is, he has to take a distant second to the Boys. Give them a listen, they are killer. And, by the way, The Blind Boys of Alabama won their third consecutive Grammy Award for Best Traditional Soul Gospel Album with that release.

What Turns You On?

A strange thing happened. There I was, minding my own business, and a casual phrase rocked my world, and solved a mystery that my sainted therapist, Dianne, and myself could not solve for many years.

This is what happened...someone of my acquaintance, someone that I was not attracted to in the slightest manner, quite casually directed a comment to me. (I apologize for the intentional vagueness in this portion of the tale, Jaimie...regardless, the specifics of the comment are not the integral part of the story) Instantly, I felt like Nicholas Cage receiving the slap from Cher in Moonstruck – I was snapped out of a lingering haze that I had been living in. I was instantly present, and very, very drawn to the speaker, who had now become the most attractive thing on the planet.

How to explain this seismic shift in my own feelings? How to explain this comic turn of turn of events – from someone not being on your radar screen to becoming the most arousing being in the universe?

What is erotic? The acrobatic play of the imagination. The sea of memories in which we bathe. The way we caress and worship things with our eyes. Our willingness to be stirred by the sight of the voluptuous. What is erotic is our passion for the liveliness of life, and an appreciation for the unexpected.

After many hours of reflection, it occurred to me that what turns me on in reality is none of the things I intellectually believe turn me on. None of the qualities I believe spark attraction for me really measure up to this one stunningly simple and unignorable fact...what turns me on is the unprompted recognition of my inner being by someone else. The knowledge that someone else sees me as I see myself, is an attraction so powerful that it has kept me in fetters for five years, wrapped up with the most inappropriate of alliances, which seemed indissolvable with no real explanation. And now I have been casually handed the key to understanding it it and hopefully freeing the Phantom of San Diego.

It was a very powerful day.